May 2025

“Despite Experiencing Childhood Trauma, A Person Can Still Forge A Path To A Rich, Meaningful, And POWERFUL life.” SHARING MY PERSONAL JOURNEY: IN HOPES OF INSPIRING OTHERS MAY 2025 Ten years ago this month, my divorce was finalized. Looking back, I feel compelled to share my journey—the pain, the lessons, and the transformation that followed. For those unfamiliar with my story, I fell in love with and married a woman from Brazil who was undocumented. I never imagined she would betray me in the worst way possible. But she did. She used me for a green card. That was the darkest period of my life. It wasn’t just the betrayal that led to financial loss and legal battles—it was the deception. The emotional weight was suffocating. I spiraled into depression, and severe anxiety gripped every moment of my day. Thoughts of suicide, tragically, became my constant companion. When the divorce was finalized, I expected to feel relief. Instead, I was consumed by an overwhelming emptiness. I had loved her with all my heart, prioritizing her needs above my own, willing to sacrifice everything for her. But her love was never real—it was a facade, a means to an end. I had to confront the painful reality that every special moment, every intimate conversation, every night we shared a bed, and every dream we built together had been a lie. Accepting this truth took years. Grieving my marriage felt like mourning a death. In the midst of that grief, I questioned everything—not just the loss of my relationship, but my entire life. Then, one pivotal moment changed everything. I asked myself one simple but powerful question: How did this happen? That question triggered a journey of deep self-reflection. I began to examine my life, the people I surrounded myself with, and, most importantly, how I saw and treated myself. It became painfully clear that my inner dialogue was rooted in negativity, low self-worth, and a belief that I wasn’t deserving. I had projected this vulnerability onto the wrong people—those who used my weakness to manipulate and control me, while reinforcing my low self-esteem. As I reflected deeper, I noticed a pattern—my ex-wife wasn’t the first person to betray me. Manipulation and deceit had been recurring themes in my life, often from those closest to me. Betrayal wasn’t new; I had just been blind to it. This was the first time I was truly honest with myself, and this honesty marked a pivotal moment, setting me on a path that led to significant personal growth. My journey shifted from being about them to being about me—what I projected, what I allowed, and how I had neglected my own self-respect and self-worth. I realized that I had spent a lifetime believing I wasn’t worthy of continuous love, kindness, or respect. Then I heard something that struck me deeply: “Decide what kind of life you truly want, and then say no to everything that doesn’t align with it.” These words resonated with me—they inspired me, and also scared me. I knew change would require reprogramming my deeply ingrained negative thoughts and making significant sacrifices. But I was ready. The first step was reprogramming my negative automatic thoughts. I had been conditioned to believe I wasn’t worthy of good things, that chaos was all I could expect. Changing my mindset was a long process, but I committed to the truth: I am worthy of good things. Slowing, I could notice change. The second step was making difficult sacrifices. If I truly wanted a life of peace, health, happiness, and harmony, I had to remove anything—and anyone—that didn’t align with my new found values. I followed through with my promise. However, it took years to make peace with hard decisions I had to make. It didn’t happen overnight—and the long journey was challenging. But along the way, I discovered something unexpected. I realized that when I make myself a promise, I keep it. And through this journey, I came to a profound realization… “I got me!” Today, I live happy. I have discovered an inner strength I never knew existed, a newfound empowerment that surprised me, and a sense of worth that is deeply comforting. Ten years later, I am a completely different person from who I was during my marriage and divorce. I am valued, respected, and loved—not just by others, but by myself. My relationships are strong and healthy because I now understand my worth and refuse to accept anything less. My journey has been a mix of pain and triumph, each moment shaping me and fueling my growth. But now, I’ve finally found myself—the person I was always meant to be. And for the first time, I believe the words I speak to myself... “I matter.” To learn more, request a COMPLIMENTARY call at: www.richtaylorcoaching.com FB: @richtaylorcoaching IG: @richtaylorcoaching TT: @richtaylorcoaching www.richtaylorcoaching.com rich@richtaylorcoaching.com (516) 749-9340