December 2024

The expecTaTions Theory by rich Taylor coaching What to do when someone says, “You expect too much within this relationship” Throughout my life, I’ve often been told that my expectations of others—particularly in friendships—were too high. But over time, I realized the issue wasn’t my expectations within the friendship; it was my choice of friends. This revelation became especially clear when a close friend—a person I regarded as a brother—shared this insight with me. His words sparked a profound journey of introspection and self-discovery, leading me to deeply examine the role expectations play in relationships. navigaTing expecTaTions in relaTionships Relationships shape the standards we set for ourselves and others. When someone suggests that our expectations are “too high,” it’s an opportunity for real introspection. The key question to ask yourself is: Are my expectations reasonable, or are they unattainable? Honest self-reflection can help clarify whether your expectations align with the dynamics of the relationship or require adjustment. If your expectations are unrealistic, it’s an opportunity for personal growth. Being honest with yourself is essential— without it, unproductive patterns in your relationships are likely to persist. A skilled life coach can help you identify and adjust your expectations to better align with reality. This shift can lead to healthier, more effortless, and stronger connections with others. However, if you determine that your expectations are reasonable, the focus turns to the other person. It’s important to consider two key factors: are they genuinely unable to meet these expectations due to limitations, or are they unwilling to put in the effort? Distinguishing between inability and unwillingness is crucial for navigating and understanding the dynamics of any relationship. Some people genuinely want to meet your reasonable expectations but are held back by personal limitations. In such situations, empathy and open communication can foster mutual understanding and help establish common ground that honors both parties’ boundaries and capacities. Patience is essential when working with someone whose limitations are beyond their control, as it’s unfair to fault them for simply being who they are. However, if you find yourself continuously struggling despite your efforts, it may be time to reflect on whether this connection is truly right for you. On the other hand, if someone consistently demonstrates a lack of effort or willful disregard for meeting reasonable expectations, it may indicate a deeper issue. Setting boundaries is essential to protect your emotional well-being. However, if the pattern persists despite attempts to address it, it’s important to reassess the relationship and consider whether it aligns with your emotional needs and values. Remember, walking away isn’t a sign of failure but an act of self-preservation and prioritizing your values.. sTriking a balance Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and realistic alignment of expectations. They thrive on open communication, empathy, and a willingness to adapt while remaining true to your personal values. This often requires self-reflection to identify and address any unhealthy expectations or desires you may hold. If you discover such patterns, it’s an opportunity for personal growth. However, if your expectations are healthy, it’s not about lowering your standards to suit others but about fostering a balanced dynamic where both parties feel valued, understood, and respected. By embracing introspection, we gain clarity about our relationships and ourselves. This clarity allows us to foster deeper, healthier connections and grow as individuals. My hope in sharing this insight is to encourage you to explore your own expectations and approach relationships with a sense of balance, communication, and authenticity. if you’d like to gain deeper insights into expectations or need guidance navigating challenging relationships, i’d love to help. contact me for a complimentary session to discuss your situation and the goals you want to achieve. 23